What it feels like to live like a ghoul
by spamaccount2
Summary: After the death of Kaneki's brother, Izuku, Kaneki faces mental illnesses and attempted to commit suicide. After waking in a hospital he learns how to use his ghoul quirk and takes the transfer exams for UA


"Hey big brother, how come my quirk isn't as good as your quirk" Ken said in sadness

"Don't say that, every quirk is good for something even if it's only for a little thing and if you train it really well I'm sure even quirks which seem almost useless will become powerful" Izuku said

" But all this stupid quirk does is make my left eye look weird. I don't even know how to turn it off. How can I become a cool hero like brother with a quirk like this" Ken said in even more pain.

"I'm sure you can do it. I'm sure there's more to your quirk than you think. You just have to figure it. I'm sure you will. You're a very smart boy you know." Izuku replied once again.

" Even if that's true, my quirk will never be as awesome as yours..." Ken started

" What do you me-"

"Stop.. stop trying to make me feel better. My quirk can never be like yours because we were never related to begin with. I mean look at my hair, it's white and my quirk didn't even come from mum or dad.. If I had a cool quirk, I'm sure dad would love me" Ken uttered.

Izuku stopped able to now notice the pain and sadness welling up in his little brother. " There's no way you're not my real brother just trust me, I even witnessed your crying face after you were born. Anyway there have some rare cases where people don't get a quirk deviating from their parents. You might be one of them" Izuku said as he smiled towards his brother. " And if you think dad hates you, don't . I'm sure he only wants what's best for you. I'm sure he means well."

"Fine but thanks for always cheering me up. Big brother is the best" Ken said.

"Don't worry" Izuku said as he rubbed Ken's head," Even if no one looks out for you I'll always be there. Anyways I haven't been home in soo long. I can't wait to finally eat mum's cooking"

"Yeah it's the best after all. Anyway please be careful when fighting villains. If you disappear I won't know what to do" Ken said as looked at his older brother.

"Sure now let's hurry home" Izuku exclaimed as he resumed his walk with his little brother back home.

Once they had finally reached the house, Izuku was instantly given a warm welcome - although his visit was unexpected - while Ken was simply ignored by his father. He never really meant much to his father and his brother had been his father's only joy. He was always told that he was weak and should have always acted more like his more successful brother. The only people who cared about him were his mother and his brother. His father had simply forgotten his existence. To his father, there was no Ken Kaneki and his only true son was Izuku Kaneki. Of course by now Ken had already gotten used to the feeling of being unwanted but still clung on to hope that he might one day become someone his father approved of. His father's recognition was something he had always longed for.

"Anyway thanks for the dinner guys. I was planning to stay longer but it looks like I'm gonna have to leave early. I'll see you guys in a month and then I can stay even longer." Izuku said waving to his family as he walked towards the door.

As soon as he left he immediately took off into a sprint. " I need to hurry, there seems to be a powerful villian lurking in this area. If I'm not quick enough people other my family might be put in danger or even worse die. That little boy is only just starting to grow as well. I can't let anything happen to him or anyone else in this area" Izuku thought to himself as he started running towards the central of area. He was hoping to deal with the villian and then head back to his family. He then heard a scream coming from a local park as he continued to run. He quickly changed courses as he had assumed someone was being assaulted by the villian. He had to hurry. He couldn't let anyone get hurt or die. He quickly powered up his quirk and and ran into the park punching the face of the villian as he jumped in. "Miss are you ok" he asked in a serious tone. She nodded and quickly ran out of the park. The villain had begun to regain his senses. "Oh looks like a dumb hero has come to try and take me down" the villian shouted in an agitated voice " It doesn't matter since I have the ability to nullify any quirk as long as it isn't a mutant for an hour. Judging from you looks, you don't look like you have a mutant quirk. An hour will be more that I need".

Izuku attempted to use his quirk to see if the villian had been telling the truth, and it would seem he was not lying. His quirk seems to have been temporarily unusable. That also explained why the woman had not attempted to protect herself. Anyway this was going to have to be a one on one combat. Luckily Izuku had already trianed himself in a certain fighting style seeing as his quirk only increased the parameters of his body but there was a good chance that without his quirk, the style would be useless. The villian quickly rushed in catching Izuku unaware and stabbing him through the stomach in an instant. " You should never ever let your guard down" the villian said as he watched Izuku's bloody body fall to the ground slowly. Izuku then rose back up ignoring the severe wound by his stomach. He started throwing punches consecutively without any spaces in between. This was to prevent giving the villian space to move. He then quickly rushed the villian and tackled him to the floor. He restrained the villian and quickly snapped some of the villian ankles preventing him from moving. He had finally beat the villian. He was about tie up the villian as his vision began to fade. He had neglected his injury during the fight was now at death's door. His dumb habit of over analysing things had led to his death. He fell to the floor unhappy that he would now be unable to stop anymore villians but could at least protect someone or somewhere before he died. His body smacked against the cold floor and he finally uttered his last breath.

"Mum I'm going to bed now" Ken said unaware of the suitation going on one block away from his house.

"Are you sure, it's only 7:09PM. You can watch TV before you got bed if you want then" She said confused as to why he wanted to sleep so early. Ken agreed and decided that watching TV before going to bed would've be rather relaxing and comfortable. He walked to the living and quickly picked up the remote. He walked over to the chair and let his body simply fall over it. He turned on TV and decided to just scroll through channels. He had then realised that there was a good chance that there might be a show or any information regarding heroes in the news so he quickly changed the channel.

" If sodium and oxy-" *channel changed!

"BREAKING NEWS! Pro Hero Deku also known Izuku Kaneki found dead in local park next to another man. After half an hour, the police and investigators have identified the man next to him as a serial killer who had been taking and killing women under the age of 30. After searching for him in the quirk registry, he was believed to have a quirk which nullified other quirks for a fixed amount of time. Although the villian was neutralised, it was at the expense of the life of the young rising hero Deku. That's it from this department passing over to mi-"

"No..NO..IT CAN'T BE.. BIG BROTHER WOULD NEVER DIE, NOT LIKE THAT NOOO"Ken started screaming in horror.

"Honey what's wrong why are you scre-" she began but was shoved as Ken took his jacket and quickly ran outside. The scene in the background of the news was very close to his house. He had to find out. There was just no way his brother would die. Just like that. He promised that he wouldn't have left him alone. He just couldn't have died. Ken quickly turned to the corner running as fast as he could only to be stopped by yellow police tape and several officers standing outside the park. His brother couldn't have died. It just couldn't have happened. He fell to the floor as felt as though a huge fraction of his life and just shattered to pieces. He was devastated and begun to cry. He stood up and decided to slowly walk home. He didn't want to go to anywhere that reminded him of his his brother right now. It just wasn't fair. Why do great people have to die.

He had finally reached the luxurious apartment his brother had bought his family and opened the door to find his father standing and waiting for him. As he shut the door behind him, he received a slap which sent him all the way back to back to the door. His lip was now bleeding and his cheek became swollen.

" WHO SAID YOU COULD JUST RUN OUTSIDE WITHOUT TELLING ANYBODY" his father shouted, " even if you're worthless me, you made your mum worried you stupid failure. Go to your room this instance and don't let me see you out of there for a week."

" But the news.. Didn't you see the n-"

" SHUT UP! I don't remember telling you could speskyou failure" his father said as he aimed another slap at him.

Ken simply walked to his room. His mother had never hit before, neither had his father. He couldn't even be sincere to his own child. " That old bag. I'll leave this place when I can and when I'm back you'll be on your knees begging for my help" Ken said in angry tone as tears leaked down his eyes.

After a week had passed, Junior high was finally beginning and Ken had been admitted to the same school as his childhood friend Bakugou. Though Bakugou seemed loud and ignorant at times, he was truly a good friend back when they still played together, he was at least looking forward to finding a friend to forget all about his brother's accident.

Once Ken noticed it was time to leave, he made an hurried attempt at exiting the house, he didn't wave goodbye to his parents and didn't even take the lunch box his mother had passed. He had also decided to wear an eyepatch covering his left eye. If people saw it, they would look at him differently.

Ken had finally reached school and looked around to see the people who were likely to be in class. Though that was what he was looking for, he had noticed in an instant that people had already formed friendship groups and were already all gathered in their own circle. He quickly spotted Bakugou in a group of two boys and felt that would be the best place to join. As he walked over Bakugou noticed him and walked over.

" Woah Kaneki, it been so long. So did you finally get a quirk. What did you get?" Bakugou said in his usual unfriendly obnoxious voice

"What is something wrong. Even if you quirk ain't powerful tell me" Bakugou continued " Wait don't tell me you don't have a quirk."

Ken stayed silent, his quirk was the equivalent of being quirkless

"Well if you don't have one then there's no point being friends. Who'd wanna be friends with a useless person"

So that's how it was, they were only friends in the past because neither of them had a quirk. "How fake can someone get" Ken thought in his head only to be interrupted by the bell. He quickly walked into the building towards the class he'd been assigned into the moment he entered the school. Hopefully it wouldn't be the same as Bakugou. As he entered the classroom, Bakugou looked at him and began whispering something to one of his friends. They had then whispered it to someoelse and created a chain reaction until the whole class but Ken knew about the secret. Someone walked up to Ken and asked " Is it true you that you don't have a quirk."

Ken ignored them and found a vacant seat by the back of the classroom. His life was so miserable. As he sat down, the class watched him and burst into laughter. Was being quirkless something really that funny. Ken certainly didn't think it was, though he was not quirkless.

Before he knew it, the school day was already over before he knew it and as he was walking home, several students began to follow him and were laughing. Was there really anything funny about him? Perhaps it was the white hair or the weird eye patch. Ken dismissed the ideas as he thought they simply found him for funny for being quirkless. Though he wasn't. As Ken neared his house and took a turn to a corner where there weren't usually many people, Ken was ambushed. He was pushed to the floor and was assaulted. It was the same kid who had been following.

"Say nothing to the teachers if you know what's best for you" one of them had uttered to Ken.

This had continued for several more days and weeks and months and on certain occasions Bakugou and his friends would take initiative and join in on the beatings. Before he always got home, his wounds would always somehow miraculously disappear but the pain and mental trauma would still remain. This, of course, had led to mental health issues.

While school was going on and he was in the middle of the history lesson Ken had realised it. He had lost all motive to live. He was bullied at school, physical hurt at home and his mother would always be to busy sulking about the death of Izuku to even notice him. There was absolutely nothing left to live for. Izuku had gotten up during class and walked out.

" Where do you think you're going young man, you do know truenting is illeg-" His voice was cut off from Ken's head as he walked up the stairs to the roof. While his lesson had been going on, the older years had been having lunch and were all now outside. Ken stood on one of the edges of the ceiling. It was quite high from the ground and would definitely kill someone on impact no matter which way you landed. Someone had spotted him and quickly shouted" Everyone look I think he's gonna jump"

People had begun to notice Ken in the roof and were beginning to crowd near it. Ken closed his eyes and kept the thought in his head " there's nothing to look forward to in life". He then let his body sway forward and was pushed by gravity towards the floor. People began to scream as they noticed he had jumped. In the split Monnet he was about to hit the ground, a small red, strong tentacle sprouted from his back absorbing some of the damage but ultimately leaving him in critical condition.

"Everything is just black. Is this what dying feels like? Is this what big brother felt when he fell to the floor that day? Was it more painful for him?" His thoughts were then interrupted as light suddenly filled his eyes. He was no longer by the school and looked as though he was on a bed.

" Someone get a doctor, the boy's awake! Hurry or he might pass out"

"Yessir"

Ken had guessed he was in a hospital from the the conversation he had just heard. He was finally fully able to see around him. He was definitely in a hospital and he had failed to die. As he attempted to get off his bed, his body wouldn't budge. He had then noticed that his hands and legs were being chained to the hospital bed. "Am I in a hospital and why am I tied up" Ken asked

"You are definitely in a hospital but we're going to have to keep you under control. I've been told that the moment you jumped of the school building, your quirk activated and injured several students in the vicinity" the man sitting on the opposite side of the room said " we are going to have to keep you restrained in order to prevent any problems

Ken had understood the suitation and had remembered feeling an odd tingling sensation on his back when he jumped off the building.

"As of right now we still don't why you're still be alive you should be grateful to have your life back. Never try what you did again"

Izuku by now had figured that a part of his quirk gave him regeneration.

"After also examining your body, several if not almost all of your organs cannot be identified and there were unknown cells located in an unusual position near your spine." It was possible that Ken was finally going to be able to use a quirk. " I believe that your quirk is a mutant type quirk so I'm going to explain how to use it, please try not to break to many things when using it please. Like I was saying, with a mutant quirk, you just have to get a feel of the areas of the anatomy which don't seem human.Then try controlling like a hand and as if it were second nature" Ken had begun focusing on his back and could feeling a tingling sensation once again. At that very moment, huge tentacles grew from his back staying completely idle. As he attempted to move it, it felt almost second nature like a body part he used every day.

"Anyway we believe you might still have some mental issues and it wouldn't be ok to send you to school anymore so you'll be home schooled for the rest of your third year and can go to which ever high school you want. " Wait have I been sleeping for 1 an entire year"

"You've been unconscious for more than a year and a half"

"Where are my parents?"

"They were here on the day you were dispatched here but haven't returned ever since"

"Oh.."

As the conversation came to a halt, the doctor quickly ran in to come and study Ken but was dismissed by the man who had been conversations with Kaneki. " Ken Kaneki, you will be dispatched tomorrow and will begin your home schooling in a private apartment away from your family and friends. You will also be spending a year with your home schooling meaning you will have to take a transfer exam into the high school you wish. Is that ok with you. We can give you training for your quirk if you wish to go to an hero oriented high school."

" Yes I don't mind.. it's not like I have friends or partners who are bothered to even come to me while I'm in the hospital"

A/N: One year timeskip! Intense training arc... Grinding levels offscreen and shit. Gonna become powerful like Tokyo Ghoul Kaneki. He's also gonna carry a book everywhere with him now. Smart boy thing to do after all :P

UA Transfer exams

"There are two parts to the transfer exam, the written portion which tends to be harder than the entrance exam papers and practical exam which is to demonstrate your skill and quirk"

*Written portion*

"And you may begin"

*20 minutes later

"Sir excuse me but I'm finished" Ken said as everyone looked at him in surprise. The test was supposed to be an hour and forty-five minutes long and he was already finished. Surely he was gonna fail was the thought in everyone head.

" Are you sure. You still have plenty of time, you should check over it and answer all the questions"

n

"I did, May I be excused now" he said

"If you're really sure you're done you can go to the waiting room" As Ken began to leave the classroom, the teacher thought to himself "What and interesting boy"

*Practical Exam. One on One fights*

"Ken Kaneki you'll be paired up with Youle Tamagi. Your fight will be fifth in the running order." The announcer stated.

"Woah Tamagi... Tough luck for that Kaneki guy. I heard Tamagi's quirk is really powerful" people started to mutter around Ken.

As it was finally time for Ken's fight, he stood up and walked up to the large stage with Tamagi who was approaching from the opposite side. Once they had reached the stage they had waited for the announcer before they began.

"Tough luck to be put up against me. My quirk allows me to control the mass or pressure of an object near me. Good luck and sorry you won't be able to get into UA. Some people were just born to be stronger"

Hearing the way his quirk worked, Ken decided not let his guard down.

"Begin!!" The announcer sounded

Tamagi quickly picked a huge chunck of the arena and threw it at Kaneki who dodged it with ease. Kaneki quickly then ran into all of Tamagi's blindspots and once his fist connected with Tamagi's face, Tamagi was sent spiralling backwards several meters"

"Woah did you see that... That kid took down Tamagi"

Kaneki left the stage as he was announced the winner, it wasn't as though Tamagi was even strong to begin with they were all to weak to know what true strength was.

The one thing which made the transfer exams much more harder than the entrance exams and that was that only one person would be allowed into the school. That spot by far belonged to Kaneki.


End file.
